


Happy

by morganya



Category: Bandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-28
Updated: 2008-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-20 07:01:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganya/pseuds/morganya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The problem with grownup time is that he doesn't really know what to do with it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy

Travis calls William as soon as he gets off the plane at O'Hare. He leaves the most inanely cheerful voicemail message ever uttered: "Hey, I'm here and your ass better come out and see me tonight. Let's have grownup time, I'll put your name down backstage." Then he goes to the hotel and waits for William to call him back, and then he goes out for the show.

William doesn't show up for the show, or backstage. At around three in the morning Travis gets a text saying, _sry i missed u lets hang out_.

By the time Travis gets to William's place the next afternoon, he's thinking that this was a bad idea. The problem with grownup time is that he doesn't really know what to do with it.

He takes the stairs two at a time, planning funny stories and idle chitchat. He thinks he can fake it until he feels like he knows William again for real, and then everything will be easier.

When William opens the door, he's in ragged jeans and a shirt that looks bleached around the collar and armpits. His hair is shorter and Travis can see the fine veins under his eyelids as he looks up.

"Travie," William says gratefully, and something in his chest floods with heat.

"Come here, you dumbass," Travis says, and pulls him into a hug. William feels like he always did, sharp bird bones pressing through his back and long strong arms around Travis' waist. "What the fuck's wrong with you, standing me up? I'm fuckin' _offended_."

"Sorry, sorry," William says. "Everything got on top of me. Want to come in? There's shit all over everything, but it's pretty stylish."

There are glasses and bottles and CDs and jackets strewn all over William's living room. Travis says, "Where's your girl at? I thought she'd keep you from living in squalor."

"Lunch with her parents." William picks up a shoe from the floor, studies it curiously and then tosses it into the coat closet. "We've got priorities."

Travis wasn't sure what he'd been hoping to find when he got here. He never really knew what to say to William's girlfriend on the rare occasions that their paths had crossed; if there's anything that guilt does, it makes it fucking difficult to hold a polite conversation.

"Dude, you skipped out on lunch with the in-laws? How'd you manage that?"

"Because they like me better when they don't have to see me," William says. "Lucky me. You want a drink? Tea or a beer or…oh. Uh."

"When'd I ever drink beer?" Travis asks. "Anyway, I'm good."

William grins relievedly at him. "You sure? I can –" From down the hall, Travis hears the baby start to howl.

" _Shit,_ " William says. "It's been like this all day. Hang on, will you?" He picks up a half-empty beer bottle from the coffee table and swigs it down. "Right back."

"Yeah," Travis says. He pushes a jacket off the couch and sits down. He really wants a cigarette.

After a minute, William reappears, jogging the baby gently against his shoulder. He smiles apologetically. "I'm trying to get her to take a nap. It isn't working."

"Looks like she got your genes," Travis says.

"I sleep fine," William says. "I just don't really, like, actually lie down all that often. I think she just misses her mom. I don't think she really knows who I am yet."

"You oughta take her on the road with you. Get reacquainted."

"Oh, that's _great_ ," William says. "Hauling her around the country before she can even walk. She'll be in therapy forever. Have you met her yet?"

Travis shakes his head. William croons something into the baby's ear and then inclines toward Travis. The baby, red-faced with exertion and scowling a little, stares back at him.

"Say hello, baby," William says. "Say hello to Travis."

"Hey there," Travis says quietly. He taps the baby's tiny pink fist with one finger. It grabs on and keeps staring at him. He can't really tell if the baby looks like William or William's girl yet; it's still too young and kind of looks more like a little blob than a person. He wishes he knew more about babies.

"So tell me what's been going on," Travis says to William, not taking his eyes off the baby.

It's what William seems to have been waiting for: he launches into the monologue about the album, about recording, about the message that he's been dying to get across with the lyrics. It's the same song he's been singing practically since Travis first met him, about how he's enduring the traveling life just so he can get everyone in the world to love him. Travis listens for his name to come up somewhere, but it doesn't.

William's phone goes off in the middle of the monologue. He grimaces. "I should get that. You want to hold her for a second?"

"Babies don't _like_ me, Bill," Travis says, but William just rolls his eyes and passes the baby carefully to him, saying, "Watch her head," before he ducks out of the room again.

"Don't start crying on me," Travis warns the baby. "Or throw up. We are definitely not allowing throw up in here." The baby doesn't say anything.

After a minute, he starts feeling awkward standing there, so he sits on the couch and eases the baby onto his lap. It bangs its heels against his thighs and makes babbling noises.

"Where's your dad gone, baby?" Travis says. He peers down at his lap. "What happened there?" The baby quiets down and breathes through its nose.

It looks like she's got William's eyes.

"Damn," Travis says to himself.

The thing is, he's spent fucking endless amounts of time trying to remember every second of the summer, when there wasn't a day he and William hadn't been together. And the real thing, the real kicker, was that he was too fucked up a lot of the time to really remember it, too stoned or too drunk or too selfish to allow for any keepsakes. He's got William's sweaty hair pressed against his cheek and his fingers around William's hip, William's sharp whiskey breath on his lips and William's laughter vibrating against his chest. He's got his hand on William's forehead while they were lying together in the bus, when he was usually stoned and William was usually drunk and it could be hours before they both stopped laughing. That's all he can pick out of the blur.

He'd have gotten sober a whole lot faster if it meant he could have more of that to hang onto.

William comes back in. "Sorry," he says, and takes the baby, who fusses and squirms. "See? You were wrong. She doesn't want to leave. She likes you."

"I guess," Travis says. "Hey –" He didn't want it to be this way, he wanted to spend the afternoon shooting the shit and dreaming big dreams with William. But he's got to be on a plane tomorrow morning and off to more shows and more songs and he doesn't have enough time to ease into things. "You ever think about that summer? With you and me?"

William coughs. "Yeah, you know, I – it was kind of a while ago, Travie, you know?"

"What's your definition of a while?"

"I don't know, just a while, I guess."

"I mean," Travis says. "I'm kind of different now, you know? And I don't want to fuck things up with you here or anything, I'm not gonna fuckin' do that, but, here's the thing, if you wanted me to–"

"Travis, I can't," William says. "I can't."

"Yeah," Travis says. "I mean, I know that. Shit." He laughs. "You thought I was serious?"

William shakes his head.

"I mean, shit." He's standing up now and patting his pockets, like he's lost his keys or something. "I just wanted to see how you were doing here, with her and the baby and everything. We're both busy motherfuckers."

William's standing up now too. "You don't have to – are you going?"

"What? I don't know. I don't – yeah."

"You don't – we can still hang out," William says. "When I see you again. You know."

"Yeah, I know." He starts for the door. "But you'd tell me if you needed anything, right? You'd tell me if everything was okay?"

"I'm happy," William says. "Really. I'm happy."

When Travis walks out and closes the door, he hears the baby start to cry.


End file.
